What If A Sugar Baby Wants To Take A Break

This question
One sugar daddy from the sugar baby dating website told us: "I was so desperate that my sugar baby suddenly told me she wanted to" rest ". I don't know why, and she's been coy about why. She said she just needed time to "think about something." I was confused, I was hurt, and I wanted to pull this relationship back from the brink. What can I do? Can I stop her? Is this the end?

The answer to that question
I know how you feel, and the sudden mention of rest in a sweet sugar relationship is scary because it's so vague. It can mean any one of many things, some good, some terrible. Sometimes, "I want to take a break" simply means "I just want to give myself some space, because I'm a little upset right now, and during that time, I'll stare out the window and remember how much I love your smile, and how much I want to be with you every day." But sometimes, "take a break" means "I'm breaking up with you, but I don't have the guts to say so, so I'm going to drag it out in the most painful way possible, and in the meantime you'll find out that I'm sleeping with other men, or going down to the bar and meeting different men without you." These are reasonable possibilities.

So, before you can solve this problem, the first thing you need to do is to figure out what's causing the break. Here's an easy way: just like in every romantic relationship, you don't know what your partner is doing, but you should ask them directly. Say you want to be absolutely clear about why you're taking a break, so you know if there are some underlying relationship issues you're aware of that you can improve -- whether that includes expressing more gratitude, showering more, shaving more, etc.

But there are a few tricks. If you want to know exactly what's going on, don't act like a naive child defending your own perfection against every criticism she makes. You don't have to beat her. It's not a fight. Such an attitude would immediately stop any productive dialogue. So, if you're in a discussion, your first goal isn't to prove to her that you're perfect, you're always right, and she's crazy. It's not your second or third goal. In fact, it should not be on your priority list at all.

At the same time, it takes patience, and you really want to hear what you don't want to hear. But it helps if you manage to have a productive, adult conversation about the source of her anger. One of the best things you can do for your sugar baby is to make her feel heard. A lot of times, in a relationship, we walk around with these feelings of being caged -- all this steaming emotional garbage that we want to express to our significant other, but we don't because we think we can't. It was a very lonely place; It's terrible to hide your feelings from the people closest to you in the world. If you reduce that stress, things will probably get better, or at least clearer. It might even make her reconsider taking a break. On the other hand, she may want to leave you for a while. In fact, she might. Okay, what are you going to do?

Unfortunately, even if you try a lot, she may still want to rest, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's not a good idea to try to persuade her to change her mind. If someone needs space, the worst thing you can do is insist that they shouldn't have it. This behavior shows "immaturity" and "desperation," and can make things worse. Remember, people are usually attracted to emotional stability and confidence, and if you insist that your relationship is broken for two weeks, you will die, it doesn't do you any good. And please don't try to retaliate. I know, hearing "I want to rest" can be maddening, and you may feel the urge to tell her that you won't let her go, or that this is a great opportunity to hook up with women you've been trying to sleep, and so on. It may be tempting, or it may be a way to restore the balance of power in a relationship, but it will certainly immediately destroy your chances of improving the relationship.

If you do what I said above -- and have some productive conversation skills -- you will at least get a general idea of why she wants a break and what to do about it. This can be very positive. In fact, many relationships deteriorate over time. At the beginning you meet a charming sugar baby, you want to impress her deeply, so you become your best self. You do your best in bed, act as if you're interested in every detail of her emotional life (even if you're not), and don't scratch yourself when she's around. Then you'll feel better. You don't need to seduce her over time, so you let your inner sloppiness show. Slowly, you become more and more annoying and unattractive. That's not what you want as a sugar daddy. Perhaps this is the immediate reason sugar babies want a break, and this crisis may be the wake-up call you need.

But, at worst, she may be determined to break up and not come back. This situation may be completely out of your control. Unfortunately, romantic relationships work with humans, with complex thoughts and motivations. Unless you're interested in dating a silicone doll, when you start an intimate relationship, you're basically giving someone the ability to hurt you. Sometimes a romantic sugar relationship can't be fixed, and after weeks of no success, you have to sign up for a slew of online sugar baby dating sites. In that case, I can't help you. The only comfort I can give you is that if someone dumps you, they're doing you a favor. The sooner you get out of a doomed relationship, the sooner you can find lasting love, or at least good sex. So, put it in a positive light, if you do get dumped.

 

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